Kas, I wish I could find the way to be firm yet gentle with this person, they have caused grief to my family for about8 yrs...and I have on occassion been what to me is down right brutal...blunt, saying please do not call me anymore... from the patturn over the last 8 yrs, I believe this person may well be bi-polar and not getting help. they say nasties, hurtful things, in letters, or on phone messages, but then act as if it never happened. hubby is ADAMENT about them not welcome here, yet this seems to go over her head. I have come out and told her we are not socializing ..I am at the end of my rope, I have ignored the last few nasties. sometimes Dan says it is sad, other times he just gets so ticked I think he'll say something really hurtful. I do not want to be hurtful, but her energy is just tooo much for me to handle. I even told her that! I say prayers this will rectify itself in the best possible outcome.