here's another from Lightfeather



Livin' in Arizona

If you remember the email that had the guy who
went from loving the snow to hating the snow, this should be funny too:

May 30th:
Just moved to Arizona. Now this is a
state that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! It is beautiful. I've
finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14th:
Really heating up. Got to 100 today.
Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive
an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the
sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with
western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks.
What a breeze to maintain.
No more mowing lawn for me.
Another scorcher today, but I
love it here.

July 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 100
all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At
least it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat
is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th:
Fell asleep by the community pool (Got
3rd degree burns over 60% of my body). Missed 3 days
of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson
though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20th:
I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into
the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to
the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to the
size of a shopping bag and stank up the upholstery. The car
now smells like Kibbles and @#%$... I learned my lesson
though. No more pets in this heat.

July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant
freaking blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell.
The home air-conditioner
is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200
just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th:
Been sleeping outside on the patio for
3 nights now. $225,000 house and I can't even go inside.
Why did I ever come here?

Aug. 4th:
Its 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner
fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature
down to 85. I hate this stupid state.

Aug. 8th:
If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough
for you today?' I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat.
By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my
clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

Aug. 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work.
Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.

Aug 10th:
The weather report might as well be a
damn recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and
sunny. It's been too hot to do @#%$ for 2 damn months and
the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert? Water rationing
will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up
and blow over. Even the cactus can't live in this damn
heat.

Aug. 14th:
Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115
today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn
windshield of the car. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My sister had to spend $1500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking Arizona. What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?? Will write later to let you know how the trial goes."

Livin' in Arizona sucks!