SHORT ONES
Three friends from the local congregation were asked "When you're In
your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over
you, what would you like them to say?"

Artie said: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine
spiritual leader, and a great family man."

Eugene commented: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher
and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives."

Don said: "I'd like them to say,
"Look, he's moving!"

*

Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to
God.
Looking up, he asks the Lord,
"God, what does a million years mean to you?"

The Lord replies, "A minute."
Smith asks, "And what does a million
dollars mean to you?"

The Lord replies, "A penny."
Smith asks," Can I have a penny?"
The Lord replies, "In a minute".
*
A man goes to a shrink and says,
"Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me.
Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar
and picks up men.

In fact, She sleeps with anybody who asks her!
I'm going crazy.What do you think I should do?"

"Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep
breath and calm down.
Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"