OUR COMPANY had been in Saudi Arabia for about four weeks before we got mail, and I was excited to receive my first letter, addressed to "Any Servicemember." My correspondent, a nine-year-old boy, began, "Do you know how much more homework you American soldiers over there are causing me?"

--Contributed to "Humor In Uniform" by SPC Coy A. Neal


I WAS THE SUBSTITUTE TEACHER for a second-grade math class that was learning about groups. In one exercise, pupils were asked to label a group of items according to their common characteristic. Pictured were onion rings, doughnuts, a bundt cake and ring cookies. The correct answer would have been that all the items have holes in the center. But one boy's response was, "All of these things contain too much cholesterol."

--Contributed to "All In a Day's Work" by Esther M. Hubbard



DURING A WEEKLY MEETING of my weight-loss class, the group leader was extolling the merits of the program's prepared-food products. She raved about the rich, delicious flavor of the imitation chocolate fudge and the nondairy pops, assuring us that we could eat them without the least fear of ruining our diets. The woman next to me nodded her head emphatically and then whispered, "They're even better when you spread peanut butter on them!"